The theory that certain inanimate objects hate humans.
I think there is some truth in this theory.
I believe alarm clocks can be hateful.
And I think some cars hate their owners. Maybe some rightly so.
I had a chair that hated me. Every time I sat in it I got a backache.
I put it out on the street. It got rained on then went to the dump.
I sometimes have nightmares that it will reincarnate into
another piece of furniture and get back at me.
Come to think of it I did fall out of my new chair, broke my arm and tore my rotator cuff.
See there is truth in this theory.
Either that or I knocked a screw loose when I hit my head on the dresser not long ago.
I could go on, but I am going to apologize to all my furniture now so
there won’t be any future misunderstandings.