Posted in choices, Kindness Challenge, Uncategorized

Self kindness reflection…

I have joined the Kindness Challenge at The Richness of a Simple Life
For the next seven weeks, on Monday,  Niki will give us a kindness challenge.
We will have all week to think about that week’s challenge
then we are to write a reflection.

Week 1 is Self-kindness
and this is my reflection.

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I am a bit quirky, always have been. I tend to think a differently about things than other folks. As a kid and into young adulthood I found this trait of quirkiness difficult.  I always seemed to be on the outside looking in.  I so wanted to be like everyone else.  It hurt to be different and I didn’t like myself. Somewhere in my forties, I came to realize this is who I am. I am an introspective introvert.  I like to think and ponder and wonder and I often see things from a perspective of my own that is different than others.  I no longer think this is a bad thing, I like this quirkiness trait.  I will celebrate it.

However, there are other things I haven’t accepted. Mistakes that I made.  Things that hurt me and others. I find it hard to forgive myself.  I will go over and over the transgressions and they hurt again making me feel bad about myself.  This week I have been working on healing the hurt I have about these things.  They can’t be changed but how I treat myself can be.  It is relatively easy to forgive others.  Now I am taking the time to be kind to myself, to acknowledge the hurts and mistakes, accept them, forgive myself and understand that they have had a part in making me who I am and I am a good person.  I am a good person!

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Click here to read other reflections.
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15 thoughts on “Self kindness reflection…

  1. Patricia you have a great post going here about kindness, and the different ways of being kind to one another. The world surely needs a lot more people thinking and doing kind deeds. Our family has been living lately with our guts tied in knots, and twisted all around. One granddaughter and one great grandson both seem determined to have their lives destroyed by drugs. These are two separate cases of drug use. Kindness doesn’t seem to register with them, they feel they are all alone, which is the furthest thing away from reality.They both had everything, including loving parents! The great-grandson was a star athlete, had his college paid for, he chose an out of state college. When he got there he didn’t even attend school. The party started right away. The granddaughter was just ready to take her tests to become an RN and somehow threw will it all away. She has been in prison a couple different times. It is like the conscience was removed from them. How can this be possible?? They were both raised with love and kindness??

    1. A lot of life is a mystery. So sorry you and your family are dealing with these problems. I was a prodigal who wandered far from what was expected of me but I got back on track. Not without some pain and heartache, though. I think one of the things that helped me was the knowledge that I was loved by my family in spite of my behavior that they did not condone or accept. Keep on loving your grandkids. Let them know you love them even though you cannot accept what they are doing. I will pray that they see the Light and return home.

  2. Nothing wrong with quirkiness, IMHO. I think most people may have a little quirkiness. 1. A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy: “Every man had his own quirks and twists” (Harriet Beecher Stowe).

  3. I am an extrovert myself. I always wished I could be more introspective….and with age am becoming so. Wonderful post. and Do forgive yourself all those (mostly imagined) slights and quirks………they make you who you are today and that is a wonderful person.

    1. Thank you, Suze. As I have aged I have embraced my introvert personality it is who I am. But the world would be awfully quiet and dull without extroverts to liven things up.

  4. Wow Patricia! First of all, good for you for not only accepting but celebrating your quirkiness. Whenever I think about that, I can’t imagine what the world would be like without the quirky people in the world- The Einsteins, Da Vincis, Benjamin Franklins, and Galileos. We look back on them with great admiration but what must it have been like for them to live in their time and be so different from everyone and see things so differently? Surely they must have been considered quirky to say the least.

    I love how you recognize that while your choices can’t be changed, the way you treat yourself about them can. Why is it easier to forgive others than ourselves? Don’t you deserve the same forgiveness you would offer someone? How can you extend that same forgiveness to yourself? These aren’t questions to be answered just encouragement for you to consider as we move into week 2 so that the beautiful discover you made stays with you. Thank you so much for participating in this challenge, it’s stories like these that make this challenge so special. I can’t wait to see what week 2 brings 🙂

    1. I laughed to think I could be thought of as in the same league as the brilliant peeps you mentioned. I am more on the ditzy side of quirky than the smart side.

  5. This could have been written by me as well, though it took me until after 50 to turn my life around and find a place where I could love my life, and myself, and begin to forget the places I fell short… and they are countless. If I dwell on the mistakes and the hurts I’ve caused it makes me cringe, but then I realize that God has forgiven me, and I need to forgive myself. It was never my intention to hurt anyone and I am truly remorseful that I did. It was also never my intention to allow myself to be hurt. I am glad that both of us now realize that we are good people, we are ok and we can and should love ourselves! This was so well written, so honest, and I admire you for helping the rest of us realize we are not alone in our life experiences!

    1. Thank you, Josie. I have a feeling these “Kindness” posts are going to be pretty personal. I had to edit this one over and over to get it pared down so I wasn’t bare naked for all blogdom to see. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on your life. You are always so encouraging.

  6. Excellent post, I am like you in many ways. I am an introvert that always felt on the outside of everything. I agree you need to be good to yourself, you are a good person.

    1. It doesn’t bother me much to feel that I am on the “outside” of things. Very different from when I was young. Thank you for the kind words.

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