“Never harbor grudges; they sour your stomach
and do no harm to anyone else.”
I agree that we shouldn’t hang onto grudges no matter how righteous we may think they are. Keeping track of grudges makes us unhappy and takes away from the simple pleasures of every day. Truly a waste of time. But I am not sure if harboring grudges doesn’t sometimes harm others.
Whatever wrongs or bad feelings we hold against another can hurt them. Maybe we were good friends. Maybe they need us in their life and we help them in some way whether we know it or not. If not good friends then maybe we were an acquaintance that simply filled a place in their life that was empty and only we fit in that space.
Even if we still interact with the one we are “grudging” against having that wall of chill between us can’t be good. Cold shoulders can lead to other aches and pains and ugliness and that can’t be good for the “grudgee” or the “grudger.” As adults do we really have time to waste on childish behavior?
If you are holding a grudge, if possible go talk to that person. It could all be just a misunderstanding. If not a misunderstanding and a true wrong that has been done perhaps it can be righted. Worth a try. If whatever the problem is cannot be resolved give it up and find forgiveness in your heart and part ways. Both of you will be better off.