Walls turned sideways are bridges.
To build sturdy and safe structures takes training and practice. I wouldn’t want to live in a house that was built by someone without experience, without help and advice from others who know what they are doing. Likewise, I wouldn’t want to cross a bridge over a swift running river or drive on a highway overpass that was built without trained engineers and skilled workers.
I have never built an actual wall or bridge. Not a wall you can paint or hang a picture on or a bridge over something that you can walk or drive on. But I have built a lot of metaphorical walls and bridges. I have lots of experience with those sort of structures.
I built walls usually because I was unsure or afraid of something or someone. Sometimes they were built because of stubbornness or spite or just because I didn’t want to do something. It took a long time for me to realize it was not a wise or loving way to live. It is difficult to break bad habits and to unlearn unhealthy thought processes and practices. Friends and family can help; often it takes professional help.
Building bridges takes lots of work and cooperation. The greatest hindrance to bridges is pride. Not just the pride of the builder but also the pride of those the builder is trying to reach. Building walls makes barriers. Communication is difficult when a wall has hurt someone. When someone has been shut out by a wall they often become defensive or hardened and in turn they may reinforce the wall on their side. Time and patience may breakdown the wall, but sadly, there are times that can’t be done.
It has been my experience that bridges are harder to build. They take more thought and time and consideration and the help of others. When they are completed and reconciliation happens it is wonderful, but some bridges may have a locked door at the other end. That happens. All that can be done is to accept the decision of the person with the key. Keep the bridge in place and clear of debris and open for travel. Forgive as you wish to be forgiven and move on.
Photo by fan yang on unsplash
Can’t have a post without a cat!