life · past · present · whatever!

Monday musings…

Patricia

Contentment is accepting the world
as an imperfect place.
Anonymous

I wasn’t always content, far from it. There was more to my discontent than the usual stuff of being a teenager, and it got worse with time. As a young woman and into middle age, I was unhappy most of the time. It just became the norm for me.

Somewhere around 50 years, I got tired of the life I was living. I decided to make some changes, but I didn’t know quite what they would be. So, for a time, I went to a psychologist. Best thing I ever did!

I learned a lot about myself and how I looked at life and living. The biggest thing I learned was how often I said or thought, “I should.” Why did I think “I should” do something or be something, feel or want to be different in some way? I was always trying to be who or what I thought others expected or wanted me to be. The whole experience of being in counseling was eye-opening. It was difficult, and it hurt. There were lots of tears. Oh, and there was laughter, too. I’m a pretty funny person. I thought that was a bad thing. There wasn’t a lot of laughter in our house when I was growing up.

Anyway, when I came to my 50th birthday, I decided I would be who I am. I would just be me, whoever and whatever that was. I likened it to being a butterfly. I was leaving the cocoon and would be the real me. Another best thing I ever did!

Do you know what I found out when I left the cocoon? I am a curious, daydreaming, intelligent introvert with a good sense of humor. Some people like me, some don’t, and that’s okay.

The most important lesson I learned is that I don’t have to be what others want me to be or who they think I ought to be. I am who I am, the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly. Deal with it or go and bother somebody else with your idealistic nonsense.

Oh, by the way on my 50th birthday, I got a tattoo.
It’s a butterfly just out of the cocoon and beginning to fly.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

18 thoughts on “Monday musings…”

  1. I so loved this. To be free of what others think of you reminding me, what they think of me is none of my business. And when you stop people pleasing, people aren’t pleased, but to hatch like a chick into your true self is the biggest gift of all since, it arrives in peaceful packaging and there’s nothing better than that.

    I like who you are…curious, funny, able to put it all down to share with us. And a tattoo to show you’ve spread your wings.

    All I can say is…WOW!!!

    1. Thank you, Susannah. Some people weren’t pleased with the new me, but most just took it for what it is. Maybe I need a tattoo of a chick coming out of its shell? That probably would be overdoing the analogy. But it’s a good one.

  4. I’m so happy for you Patricia. It’s the best decision you’ve made to be wholeheartedly yourself. I find you a wise, funny and kind person.

  6. Good for you, always be who you are! The Mom here retired from being a psychologist and we’re glad she is home now. Terrific post!

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