“I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be
totally wrong about people;
to see only one tiny part of them and
confuse it for the whole.”
So often we make judgments about people by the way they dress, how they talk, who their friends are, where they live, how they make their living, whether they are old or young. Without even talking with someone we make up our minds who they are and what kind of person they may be. I am not sure why that is. Probably has something to do with our own vulnerability and lack of self-confidence.
I get upset if I think someone is judging me for something they think they know about me. Some people seem to think I don’t have any problems because I don’t have children or aging parents to care for or because I am retired that I must have made a lot of money when I worked. There are those who think because I am quiet and an introvert that I must have been a sweet well-behaved child/teen/young adult who never rebelled or caused any worries or problems for my family. None of that is true. I have problems, I don’t have a lot of money, I was a rebellious person. Well, I am still something of a rebel albeit in a quiet non-disruptive way.
Because I do get upset with others because of what I think they are thinking about me I try to see others as just people. Not good or bad, better or worse than me, just people like me living each day as it comes. Some days I am successful in being non-judgmental some days not so much. But I have learned people are made up of lots of parts and no one part makes them who they are. It takes all the parts put together to make a whole person.
It can be confusing trying to figure out how the parts fit together, though!
“Wherever you go,
go with all your heart.”
This quote really made me think. How often do I go somewhere with all my heart? The honest answer is not often. Usually, I go about my day without much thought about where I am going or what I am doing. I certainly don’t put much of my heart into the where’s or what’s of my day.
At best I am being lackadaisical and indifferent to my surroundings. To be honest, by not putting my heart into my days is somewhat arrogant and definitely apathetic. I have never thought of myself in those terms before. Maybe lackadaisical or lazy but not indifferent, arrogant, or apathetic.
To not live with all your heart is really being unthankful for all of life.
I don’t want to be that person!
Obviously, changes must be made in my mindset or heart-set if you will.
I am starting today!
“Failure is just another way to learn
how to do something right.”
Marian Wright Edelman
I think all successful people would agree with this quote. Edison didn’t get the light bulb to work on the first try and Bell had to try many times before he could talk to someone on a phone. I am very thankful that they were not defeated by failure. I don’t understand how their inventions work but I am very happy they persevered. Life would be very different and probably very difficult if successful people saw failure as final.
It isn’t easy to admit there has been a failure especially when the same failure occurs over and over. It is easy to give up and say, “I can’t”. But that is the real failure. Sure, sometimes I have given up and felt sorry for myself, felt stupid, and gone to bed in tears. But the morning always comes, the tears are gone, I remember that I am not stupid and feeling sorry for myself is a waste of time. So, I get up determined to try again and again and again and again until I have figured out what needs to be done, how to do it, and get it done. There are also mornings when I realize that what I want isn’t the best for me (or anyone else) and it’s time to do something different. I don’t think that is failing. I believe it is another aspect of learning and part of life.
Though I haven’t done anything great for humanity, I have learned a lot from my failures and on occasion have been able to help others with my lessons. That in itself is worth the effort to succeed.
Our fears are more numerous than our dangers,
and we suffer more in our imagination
then in reality.
I think this is true for most people. I know my imagination can run amok at times. It is smart to give thought to what we are doing and where we are going but we do have to be careful not to let the negative “maybe’s” take over. I am guilty of that but I am better than I used to be in controlling those crazy maybe’s. There are a lot of scary “what if’s” and “could happen’s” in life but there are also lots of wonders and delightful surprises.
Bad things can happen but more often good things happen.
“Our fears are more numerous than our dangers,
and we suffer more in our imagination than in reality.”
I have a pretty active imagination and most of the time that’s a good thing. I like to daydream and let my imagination run free and those are wonderful times that make me laugh and I’m happy. But there are times when my fears get the best of me and if I am not careful I can end up with a major anxiety attack.
I don’t know why I let fear take over. Maybe it partly comes from when I was a child and told all the bad things that could or would happen if I did or didn’t do something. My parents were the kind of people and that tended to see the dark clouds and not the sun. I guess they were trying to protect me from the bad things of life. Of course, bad stuff happens to everyone. No one gets a free pass to the good life.
Now that I am old my fears don’t usually beat me up. I am a survivor. I have learned that even in bad times there is good to be found though sometimes you have to search through the muck to find it.
“Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.”
It’s true, the only way to change the world is for people to change. People are the problem. Think about it. If people would change so would the world.
Of course, this is a hard sell. Everyone wants to be the one who is right. No one wants to think that maybe they are wrong or that someone else might have a better idea. No one wants to consider compromise. Somehow compromise has come to mean weakness or the giving into someone stronger or smarter. Yes, there are some things that should not or cannot be compromised and they need to be clarified and understood but they must not put a stop to the conversation. There can be no understanding without consideration of the reasons for differences of opinion.
Change is difficult. To change the world we must be open to new ways of thinking and doing and meet with people, who may not think as we do, with a humble and respectful attitude and a willingness to listen and change our minds.