Saturday · someday

Saturday, someday I may need help…

My Messy Desk
Image by edtechworkshop via Flickr

Today is Saturday, October 30, 2010

 

I am by nature a quiet, neat, and organized person.  I like to have a place for everything and everything in its place.  After I use something I put it back where I got it from.  I close cabinet doors and drawers, hang towels neatly on the towel rods; my closet is organized as is my dresser, everything hanging straight or folded and neatly placed on shelves or in drawers, shoes and purses all in rows.

Even the kitchen is under control.  The dishes organized in one cabinet, glasses in another, pots and pans in their place; the drawers each have assigned items, the towel drawer, utensils and silverware drawers, and my junk drawer is clean and uncluttered.

The linen closet is a study of symmetry, everything lined up and in stacks. Each shelf has its own related items with no overlapping of towels and sheets and tablecloths.  There is a miscellaneous shelf that is a hodge-podge of stuff but of course it is neat.

All this brings me to the problem of my goffice.  This room is an extra bedroom that is occasionally used for guests but it is daily used as my office, that’s why I call it the goffice.  When it was only a guest room it was like the rest of my place, you know, neat.  But since it has become an office there has been an invasion of some sort of messy creatures.  Not only are these invisible creatures messy but they leave behind a scentless toxic gas that renders me unable to straighten up or clean in here.  Therefore, papers pile up, books scattered on the desk and sofa  and floor, pens and pencils are everywhere on the desk except in the pencil cup or drawer.  I think discussing the state of the desk drawers is pointless as would be a discussion of the bookcases and closet.  The general condition of this room is awful.

This is very strange because my desk at work is very–yes, neat–even when I am working.  The papers are in straight piles and the pens and markers are in the cup where they belong, the notebooks lined up, and the calculator and stapler are in their places.   The desk and workspace are, well–neat.

I think I may have to keep the goffice door closed  so visitors won’t see that I am losing my neatness edge but also because I am afraid these nasty creatures will lay siege to other rooms.  Sometimes I think the toxic gases are moving down the hall and rendering me unconscious to little messes here and there.

Someday I may need to get professional help.  Don’t know who to call though.  Merry Maids or GhostBusters?  Maybe  the  Busty Ghost Maids?

 

Saturday · someday

Saturday, someday…

 

Hoarding
Image by elgin.jessica via Flickr

 

Today is Saturday, October 16, 2010

 

Why is it that yard/garage/rummage/tag sales and flea markets are such fun?  Used furniture stores and Goodwill and Salvation Army Stores and “antique” stores are interesting, too.   It is a great way to spend time–and not spend much money.

Truthfully, I rarely buy anything at these sales and stores but I do like to wander around them and see what other people had that they no longer want.  Once in a while I find some treasure I just must have. I have contributed to Goodwill and to friend’s yard sales.  Quite often the stuff I give is stuff I got at Goodwill or a “used” store.

And about stuff.  Why do we have so much stuff?  I lived for many years in a very small one bedroom apartment that had one closet in the bedroom and one in the hall.  Those two closets were enough.  Then I moved to a two bedroom apartment with two bedroom closets and one in the bathroom.  I managed to fill the third closet.  I now live in a two bedroom condo that has two big bedroom closets, one large linen closet, one hall closet, and one large storage closet.  There is also room in the furnace closet to store a few things.   All these closets are full.

I was happy with what I had in the tiny apartment, did not feel deprived or that I needed anything.  Wanted more but did not need more.  Same with the next place.  And here I am with six closets and needing more room for my stuff.  There is something wrong with this picture.  I mean it is kind of sad isn’t it?

It seems the more closets we have the more stuff we get then we need more room and when we have more room we get more stuff. It is a vicious circle, I tell you!  I had a couple of family members that were hoarders.  We all make jokes about these folks but it is truly an awful addiction to things.  Their lives are unhappy and sad and lonely.   I do not want this to happen in my life so I  do a major purge of closets two or three times a year.  In the middle of one now.  You would think once purged always purged but not so.

I think someday I will be more disciplined and buy only what I really need and will actually use.  Not sure when that someday will be.  Maybe it will start with this current purge–or not.

 


 

Saturday · someday

Saturday, someday…

Dream #2

Today is Saturday, October 9, 2010

 

When I was a child, in my dreams I would often fly.  I did not fly like a bird or Superman, I lifted off from a standing position and would fly upright.  I would fly really high into the clouds above the houses and trees, or close to the ground.  I could fly fast or just hover.  I could fly up or down, side to side, and forward but I could not fly backward.

It was wonderful!  But there were times that no matter how hard I tried I could not fly.  It was upsetting knowing I had the ability to fly but for some reason I was grounded, unable to lift off.  These flightless dream times were frustrating and made me feel angry and sad.  I knew I could fly.  What was preventing me and why was I being denied this glorious lightness and joy?

As I got older and left childhood behind the flying dreams became fewer and fewer until one night they were no more.  There have been studies about flying in dreams.  Those who do these studies say that adults do not, or  very rarely, fly in their dreams.  It seems it is a phenomenon of childhood.

I have not done any studies or reading about this subject but, of course, I do have an opinion.  I think that as adults we get too weighed down with self.  Most adults dream about life things, the dreams are often silly or weird or frightening but they seem  based on life.  When we are awake we put so much time and effort pursuing the dreams of what we want in life that when sleeping we are bogged down with that reality.  We let our responsibilities and concerns and worries into our sleep and we are unable to dream with abandon.

I have flown in my dreams a few times in the last couple of years.  The flying does not take me as high or far as when a child.  It seems instead of just enjoying the flight I start to analyze it.  How adult of me, how unchild like.

Adults want to know everything about what is happening, the what and why and how of things, we cannot just dream.  Children know that the what and why and how of dreams are the details.  They know it is the big picture that is important, the dreaming and being in the dream, just the doing of the dream.

The fact that I have flown in my dreams occasionally as an adult is encouraging to me.  Maybe the older I get the freer I will become and I will once again fly in my dreams like a child.

I think, someday, my dreams will again be light and filled joy every night.


 

Saturday · someday

Saturday, someday…

I've started so I'll finish
Image by get down via Flickr

Today is Saturday, October 2, 2010

You would think that after all these years of getting a monthly bank statement reconciling it would be a snap.  I mean I certainly have had enough practice.  But somehow it always takes longer than I think it will, or should, to complete and there is usually a glitch somewhere.

It drives me crazy if the numbers are just a penny or two off.  Must be to the penny!  Not everyone in my family is like this.  My mother would just turn the page of the register and start over if she did not balance.  Then there was my brother, he had two checking accounts.  Never balanced either one.  He would use one account for a while then stop using that one and use the other.  When all the checks had cleared the first account he would switch back to it until all the checks he had written on the second account cleared, then back to the first.  Somehow this worked for him.  It was a bit confusing for me as the executor of his estate.  It all got straightened out but it was a little confusing.

I guess it would actually be easier if I was rich.  Then I would just hire someone to figure the mess out.  However, hiring someone is not what I need to do.  What I need to do is be happy I have a statement to bother with. Or I could  just  turn the page or have two checking accounts…

I think I will not wait for “someday” I think I will just be happy now.  But I still will not use my mother’s or my brother’s method. That would be too weird for me.


Saturday · someday

Saturday, someday…

An assortment of United States coins, includin...
Image via WikipediaToday is Saturday, September

Today is Saturday, September 25, 2010

Yesterday was payday.  It is always such a good feeling going to the bank to make the payday deposit.  Signing the back of the piece of paper that represents the hours I worked.  Not a reward or gift but what I earned.  Handing it to the teller and getting another piece of paper confirming that I did get paid and the money is in my account.

The high of it all is short-lived though.  After the trip to the bank it is time to go home and pay the piper as they, or someone, or whoever, says.  So quickly it is gone baby gone.  Don’t get me wrong I appreciate all I have that the paycheck pays for, even the boring stuff  like insurance and utilities and such.  I have a nice place to live and I am never hungry without the resources to buy food and I have more clothes than closet space.  But I would like to have some of this paycheck left when I get the next one.  It may not seem I am grateful that I have a job but I am.

Someday I will stop complaining and just be grateful.  Someday I will learn to budget.  But I am pretty sure that will not be any day soon.

Saturday · someday

Saturday, someday…

Sad Cat
Image by nickellis74 via Flickr

Today is Saturday, September 18, 2010

Today has been a sort of lost day for me.  Wednesday I broke my foot and  must wear a boot for six weeks.  I am not happy.  I slept most of the day and now I am in a funk.

I do not like sleeping the day away.  I feel like I have wasted a precious gift of time.  After all time here on earth is not unlimited.  It comes to an end.  I want to see and live and be in each day as best I can and to the limit.

Someday I will not let the little hiccups of life get me down.  I will not whine and take part in personal pity parties.  I will not get angry because things are not the way I want them.  Someday I will take all that comes my way graciously and live the day joyfully.

Someday–but apparently not today.