Every year I have a word of the year. Sometime in November or December I start thinking about what my word will be and by January 1 I know what it will be. There have been years I didn’t like the word but it is always a word I need to know and think about. Eventually, it becomes clear to me why the word was chosen for me. It’s like magic.
This year the word is Today
I need to be reminded of this. Lately, I have been spending a lot of time in the past. Not just remembering stuff but letting some of it bother me. Though there is much of it I would like to erase from memory there is more I am happy to remember.
Besides the past, I have been thinking a lot about the future. It is okay, even wise to consider the future and make some decisions and plans for it but not to be consumed with what might happen and all the what-ifs that come with overthinking the future.
I think this has to do with being old. When one is young there is little past to think about and the future seems too far away to give it too much thought and life is busy. That changes. In time the past becomes long, the future short, and there is more time to ponder. I must remember; I have been given today and that is enough.
Today is the most important day of my life.
I am not so old that I don’t know what day it is.
I know it is Thursday and this is Wednesday’s post. I had computer issues. So, here it is the future and I am posting the past today.
I am at the place in life where there is undeniably more life behind me than ahead of me. I admit I spend a lot of time looking back and less looking forward. That being said this quote spoke to me loud and clear. I may have more past than future but where I am is the entry point to whatever I may have yet to experience.
I tend not to think about the future very often. If I do it is usually in a negative way. I will face health challenges and/or financial difficulties. I will need someone to take care of my daily needs. I will not be able to stay in my home. I will need to move to assisted living or a nursing home. And of course, what will happen to my catkids?
Those are valid concerns but when I look at the past there have been health challenges and finacial difficulties, I did have to spend an extended time in the hospital, I did have to return to my parents home for a time, and my cats were fine. So, starting now I am going to be more realistic about my future. Yes, there will there will be negatives but there will also be positives. I am going to enter the future, which starts every new minute, knowing that whatever happens, you know Who and I will be together and all will be well.
I expect there will be relapses into the previous way of thinking. As you can see, I am going to need some practice in positive thinking!
She sat with her back to the group of women having lunch and gossiping in the booth behind her. She listened to their self-righteous mean conversation slowly coming to the realization that they were talking about her! It hurt to hear what they were saying but mostly it made her angry. So very angry. They didn’t really know her or about the things they were so arrogantly discussing. She wanted to stand at their booth and tell them in no uncertain words what she thought of them and their stupid gossip about her.
Instead, she simply got up and walked out smiling as she passed them. There was satisfaction in seeing their shocked faces when they saw her. Let them think what they wanted. After all, some of what they said was true, not all but enough to make her sad that she was once that foolish young woman.
As they say, with age comes wisdom and she was no longer that unhappy girl making bad decisions and stupid mistakes. Now she stood tall with her head up walking confidently with the knowledge of where and who she was today. She had learned from the past and no longer lingered there. The here and now is where she lived looking forward to a good and successful future.
It was her first time in a plane and the first time she had ever left her home and family. Her father had made all the plans of course, and her mother tearfully said goodbye not knowing if they would ever see each other again. As she watched the sun rise over the horizon she wondered what the man her father had chosen for her looked like and if they would one day fall in love.
If there was a drug that would let you once again experience the best times of your life, would you take it?
In the not too distant future there is such a drug with lots of people addicted to it. One of the addicted is Nick Bottom. Nick was a cop, married, had a son, living a good life in a not so good world. Now he is unemployed, his wife is dead, he has not seen his son in years, living the not so good life in a world of flashback addiction.
In this not too distant future the United States has less than fifty states and governed by Japanese advisers. Texas is an independent country. The whole world is in constant turmoil and conflict in the battle for power and domination, with Japan and the Middle East the strongest contenders.
Though Nick is an addict he is hired by a Japanese Adviser to solve the murder of his son five years ago. In his investigation Nick uncovers more than the murder of one man’s son. He finds the truth about his wife’s death and he discovers the reality behind the rumor of a new drug and how it will decide who wins the war for ultimate world power and how they will use their power.
I found it difficult, initially, to get interested in this book; but I kept on and about a third of the way in I was hooked. When more was revealed about Nick and his son, Val, who is living with his grandfather, and about his wife’s involvement in a criminal case, everything began to have more depth and meaning. The desperation Nick feels and his drive to save his son is the core of the story. That and the influence of the drug flashback that is destroying lives. This is not just about devious power-mad men but also about good men with families and the love that keeps them honest.
The way the book ends is a bit obvious and something of a let down. Until the last seven pages! This is a book worth plodding through the beginning to get to the intrigue of the middle and then it’s surprising end.
Those last seven pages…they left me stunned…and certain that I would not take the drug flashback.
I usually don’t care much for sci-fi or futuristic fantasy kind of books, but Justin Cronin’s The Passage was really good. It is a long book, over 700 pages, but when the last page was read I wanted more. And happily there is a second book coming out next year.