* Think of a situation that changed your life.
* Create a metaphor out of it
* Visualize the metaphor and write uninhibited what you felt like
* How did you feel about it at that time
* How do you see that today? Has your perspective changed?
Forty years ago I was sitting in my living room thinking about suicide. Just pondering it. But it was an option. I was lost and didn’t know how to find my way. On the outside, it looked like all was well. But I was living in a frenzy of bad behaviors and rebellion. I was cold, tired, sick, lonely, and very afraid. I felt that I was running fast but getting nowhere except deeper in the pit of despair.
As I sat there I realized I wanted to know the warmth of home.
I was surprised. I had left home before I was eighteen and though I saw my family often I never wanted to go back to the house I grew up in. That got me to thinking about what home meant to me. What it should be like; warm and cozy with laughter and sharing of dreams, safe without being restrictive, a place where there is understanding and it’s okay to cry, a place where I could just be who I am.
That day forty years ago I realized home was not a place but a Who. That Who knew all about me and was waiting for me with love. That was the beginning of my journey home. The journey has not been easy but it gets easier every day. Of course, there are times when I am tired and I let things become burdensome. That’s when I look back and see how far I have come and remember the lessons learned along the way. I might have a good cry but they are not tears of fear and frustration they are tears that cleanse and nourish my soul. A lot has changed! I am well, content, strong, and no longer afraid. I am not alone anymore. I have found my home.
Today I am celebrating that 2016 is about gone!
It wasn’t a bad year but it was challenging.
My word for 2016 was change and there was a lot of change.
Change is not my favorite thing. I am happy in my comfortable ruts.
None of the changes were spectacular.
It was all about inner changes.
Things like attitudes and habits that needed to be looked at.
Some things just needed to be brought out, dusted off and put to use again.
There was a lot of decluttering of thoughts to take care of.
And there were things that needed some serious housekeeping or tossing out.
My inner life is much like my home.
It’s comfortable and homey with things I use and things I love,
things I don’t need and things I don’t want but
keep because I am too lazy to deal with them.
Everything looks good until I take a good look in closets and corners, and
under things I need to get on my hands and knees to see or on top of things I can’t see without getting on a stool or ladder.
So that’s what I did in 2016 and it was hard work and humbling.
There is still work to be done but most of the trash has been dealt with.
Now the really hard part…keeping it all clean and tidy.
I am not sure where today went but it is about gone and I have done mostly nothing. I did read the paper and did the puzzles and then did the puzzles on my Kindle. I count it as exercise when I do puzzles…I am exercising my brain.
I played with the cats a bit and read my emails. How can one person get so many emails? I can’t figure it out. Seems I am always unsubscribing to something and still the mail box is full of nonsense.
I spent a lot of time on the computer. Not accomplishing anything. It is amazing how much time can be spent just surfing in cyber-world. I did find some things on Amazon I must have. If I remember what they are tomorrow I will order them.
I did get one thing checked off the dreaded to-do list. This needs a drum roll. Really!
I cleaned the refrigerator!
Yep, I did. Took everything out and washed everything and wiped off all the bottles and jars and threw away the stuff with expiration dates that are long gone. I was amazed when I took out the pitcher of iced tea a while ago and it just came off the shelf. Who knew you can just pick it up without having to use muscle to remove it from the shelf. I think I will go open the door and just stand there admiring my beautiful shiny refrigerator shelves for a bit.
That’s it for today. Going to work tomorrow. I’ve been off for four days. Seems like just yesterday I was there. Oh well, I have Thursday off.