Posted in Kindness Challenge, reflections, whatever!

Self-Compassion, reflection…

Kindness Challenge Week 2
Self-Compassion
Reflection

This week we were to pay attention to the way you treat yourself and the things you say to yourself both spoken and unspoken. Notice what your default reaction is when you struggle, make a mistake, or fall short.  Write down the words you say, the phrases that cross your mind, the way you react, and how you respond to yourself.” (Niki)

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Well, this was an eye-opening week for me and I am going to be very open and transparent here and tell you like it is. Some of it is sad but it has a happy ending so read on to the end.

The word I say most often to myself is stupid. When I make a mistake I say stupid. When I forget or misplace something I say stupid.  Really, stupid? What’s with that? The word makes me feel bad about myself even though I know it isn’t true. It makes me angry.

There is a phrase I use a lot, you will never…get over what happened, forget the embarrassment of, feel well, be rested, start or finish a project, learn something new, catch up with the blogs you follow…the list goes on. Of course, the negatives are self-defeating. Why do I think like this? Did I always have this mindset? Where did it come from? The phrase makes me angry with myself and depresses me.

“We all have a tape that plays in our heads, but at some point, the voice on that tape came from somewhere outside of us. I want to gently encourage you to identify the inner voice that challenges you the most. How far back does this tape go? Where did that voice originate from? Is that tape helpful? At some point, that voice stops coming from someone else and continues to speak as our own inner voice. How much of what you say today is attributed to that voice?” (Niki)

I know where the word and phrase come from…my childhood. Whenever I would want to do something new or have a plan or dream I would share I was told not to be stupid, you can’t, people will laugh at you, you don’t know how to, they won’t let you, you will never do that. I know that many ideas and dreams when young are part of exploring the world and your part in it and many will not happen but thinking and dreaming should be talked about and encouraged.

We are asked,How would you treat a loved one in that situation?” (Niki) First, I would listen carefully.  I would ask questions to see where these thoughts are coming from, why they are so strong and invasive. I would try to help them know the truth and encourage them to see the reality, not the lies. That’s what I am trying to do for myself.

How will I move on and be compassionate with myself? When stupid is my response to a thought or action I will tell myself the truth, I am smart and talented. When I tell myself you will never…I will ask myself, why not? Do you want this, who is stopping you, is what other people think so important that it negates what you think?  I will tell myself you can if you want to and I will learn to be open with trusted friends and ask for help when I need it.
                                                            I can and I will!

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Posted in 5 Lines or Less, In Other Words, Stories, whatever!

What they thought…

In Other Words
Write a story or poem of 5 Lines or Less
using the word flyaway.

girl-570832_640Because she favored loose flowing clothes, wore her hair long, loved beads and dangly earrings, and laughed more than most, people thought she was a flyaway kind of woman. They thought she was a woman who was not very smart or practical who could easily be taken advantage of and played for a fool. Little did they know she was very intelligent and a member of Mensa, an international organization for people with IQ’s in the top two percent of the general population. Maybe she was a bit flighty and frivolous and seemed not to be serious or concerned about anything they considered important but those were people who didn’t really know her.  That was okay with her and didn’t bother her at all because she knew and liked who and what she was and that was all that mattered.

In Other Words
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Posted in Friendly Fill-Ins, whatever!

FFI week 54…

Friendly Fill-Ins, week 54

  1. I have googled and though I am glad to have it as a resource I spend way too much time googling nonsense stuff.

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2. I have been told I should sell the baby sweaters and blankets I crochet on Ebay. But that seems like a lot of work with a potential for big problems. Work and problems don’t interest me.

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3. I think the earth is a wondrous place but I think the world is a mess.

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4. I know someone who thinks she is always right about everything. But I know that’s not true because my thoughts are often different than hers and I am never wrong. haughty

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Posted in Stories, Three Line Tales, whatever!

Crowds…

tltweek68photo by Faustin Tuyambaze via Unsplash

Crowds

For years we were told that if we worked hard and were determined to finish the course set before us we would graduate and stand far above the crowd and ready to shape the new exciting future. We did what we were told and obeyed the rules believing we will be special and unique leaders, people to be noticed, looked up to and followed. Well, here we are graduating and blending in with the crowd like some berserk scientist went mad in his laboratory making Barbie and Ken clones.

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Posted in gratitude, Ten Things of Thankful, whatever!

TToT this week…

Ten Things of Thankful

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  1. I am blessed by the people around me.  All I have to do is call or knock on a door and I am welcomed.
  2. I was feeling kind of down and a friend gave me a “talking to”.  He said just what I needed to hear. I left feeling like I have it all together and can do anything.
  3. I am participating in The Kindness Challenge and last week was week one. When I wrote my reflection for the week on Self-Love it was cathartic. Sort of wrote itself. Hopefully, those who read it will be encouraged and see it for what it is, an honest assessment of self-love and living a life of discovery.
  4. A long time ago I learned that sometimes you know Who talks to me through my dreams and I think these dreams are part of a conversation He wants to have with me. I think this happens when I just don’t get the message through regular means. There have been such dreams lately. I see this as a gift but still, I wonder what’s up?
  5. I have the greatest dentist and hygienist. Saw them last week. The whole staff is wonderful.  Of course, I got the talk about sodas and how bad they are for teeth…again. I am not going to stop drinking sodas. Guess I will have start saving my money for dental implants.
  6. It is the middle of May and I have not had my A/C on yet.  So happy! I know the day is coming when it will be turned on and stay on until September. Very happy to have A/C but it is a love/hate thing.
  7. A young woman I know lost her job due to the place closing. She was very upset because she has a brain disorder caused by an illness she had years ago and finds it difficult to learn and remember things. Took her months to get a job when she moved here. Well, her boss from the closed place, got her job where he is now working. Hallelujah!
  8. I washed windows the other day. Not a big deal I only have two windows and a sliding glass door, but I put it off for quite awhile due to laziness. It is lovely looking out and seeing things as they are without streaks, dust, and nose/paw prints.
  9. Aren’t naps wonderful? Yeah, they are!
  10. Finding the world of blogging has been a blessing filled with surprises; to have a place to express my ditzy self and be accepted as I am is truly humbling, to read the blogs of some awesome folks, and form friendships with some of these folks is beyond imagining. Thanks,y’all!
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