Walls turned sideways are bridges.
To build sturdy and safe structures takes training and practice. I wouldn’t want to live in a house that was built by someone without experience, without help and advice from others who know what they are doing. Likewise, I wouldn’t want to cross a bridge over a swift running river or drive on a highway overpass that was built without trained engineers and skilled workers.
I have never built an actual wall or bridge. Not a wall you can paint or hang a picture on or a bridge over something that you can walk or drive on. But I have built a lot of metaphorical walls and bridges. I have lots of experience with those sort of structures.
I built walls usually because I was unsure or afraid of something or someone. Sometimes they were built because of stubbornness or spite or just because I didn’t want to do something. It took a long time for me to realize it was not a wise or loving way to live. It is difficult to break bad habits and to unlearn unhealthy thought processes and practices. Friends and family can help; often it takes professional help.
Building bridges takes lots of work and cooperation. The greatest hindrance to bridges is pride. Not just the pride of the builder but also the pride of those the builder is trying to reach. Building walls makes barriers. Communication is difficult when a wall has hurt someone. When someone has been shut out by a wall they often become defensive or hardened and in turn they may reinforce the wall on their side. Time and patience may breakdown the wall, but sadly, there are times that can’t be done.
It has been my experience that bridges are harder to build. They take more thought and time and consideration and the help of others. When they are completed and reconciliation happens it is wonderful, but some bridges may have a locked door at the other end. That happens. All that can be done is to accept the decision of the person with the key. Keep the bridge in place and clear of debris and open for travel. Forgive as you wish to be forgiven and move on.
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Can’t have a post without a cat!
I never put off until tomorrow
what I can do the day after.
I always have a list of things to-do. Some things like dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, doing laundry, cleaning the litter box…stuff like that always get done every week. Everything on the weekly list is scratched off and the list thrown away. I always make a new list every week because it feels so good to draw a line through the things on the list and throw it away. Ta-da! Done!
Then there is the list of things that need to be done but I don’t like doing them. Like cleaning the floors and rugs. That is a bother because all the furniture needs to be moved and when the cleaning is done it all has to be put back. I think about this chore quite a while before it gets done. But not as long as I think about taking curtains and blinds down to clean them because when that gets done then the windows need to be washed. Can’t put clean stuff on dirty windows. You know that, right? And there is the need to clean kitchen cabinets and the pantry closet. Oh, and let’s not forget all the other other closets. Do I need to add that it takes me some time to start these sort of things? There are other things for this list but I don’t want to think about them.
Now to the reason Monday Musings is being posted in the evening instead of the morning. It’s because last night while thinking about what to write, which is a challenge and takes energy, I fell asleep. Then today, I had to do laundry, and other stuff, then I got on the computer and you know how that is…lost in internet land. That got wearisome, so I went for a walk and that made me hungry so I had to eat. And now, here I am typing away to get this done while it is still Monday.
I have always been something of a procrastinator but I am beginning to develop it as an intellectual art form. This takes a lot of thinking and pondering and wondering and considering…you get the drift. And as to the drift; that often leads to a nap. It is very challenging being intellectual, it takes a lot of energy and can be quite tiring.
It seems I am a bit like Oscar Wilde.
But it is still Monday where I live.
Your living is determined not so much by
what life brings to you as by
the attitude you bring to life;
Not so much by what happens to you as by
the way your mind looks at what happens.
Sometimes life is good and sometimes it’s bad. Sometimes it is beautiful and sometimes it’s ugly. Whatever our lives are like at any given time is pretty much up to us. How we act, or react, to the happenings in life makes a difference.
In bad and ugly times we can yell and scream, we can hide and cry, feel sorry for ourselves and be miserable. Or we can call and ask for help, get up and work on solutions to the problems and be productive. Most importantly, we must remember that we made it through tough times before, and not only survived but are stronger and smarter than we were. The good and beautiful life will return with all its happiness and joy.
The good and beautiful life is a treasure. Granted, sometimes that treasure gets hidden under a lot of trash and it takes determination to find it again. And when we find it again we may have to do some work to get it back to what it was. In truth, difficult times help us understand the worth of the treasure.
It’s all about attitude.
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If you are always trying to be normal
you will never know how amazing you can be.
When I was a kid I wanted to be normal.
I wanted to fit in.
I wanted be like the other kids.
I was miserable
When I was a young adult I wanted to be normal.
I wanted to fit in.
I wanted to be like the other young adults.
I was miserable.
When I was in my 50’s I knew I wasn’t normal.
I knew I wanted to just be me.
I knew I didn’t want to be like everyone else.
I was okay.
Then I got older and knew I was still not normal.
I knew I still wanted to just be me
I still knew I wasn’t like everyone else.
I was okay.
Today I don’t want to be normal.
I want to just be who I am.
I want to be amazing.
I am happy.
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Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
I believe we become what we think about ourselves.
Think negative thoughts and you will be unhappy, downtrodden, lonely, and weak. You will find yourself alone, with only casual acquaintances who cannot or will not help you when you need support. Think positive thoughts and and you will be uplifted, encouraged, loved, and strong. There will always be true friends who care about you and they will be there for you when and where you need them.
We all have times that are not the best of times and we are not at our best, the super-negatives. And we all have our times of elation when we are beyond over the rainbow, the ultra-positives. Those times are just part of life. Happenings that come along once in a while. Those times come and go.
We all have good and bad things that happen. Over time, how we respond and react to those things will determine who and what we become. Some people will become a Scrooge and some will become a Pollyanna. But if you put some thought, time, and effort into how you think you won’t be an over the top pain in the butt, you will just be the very best that you can be.
So, what’ll it be?
Scrooge or Pollyanna?
The best You?
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Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Looking back at some of things I wanted, oh so badly, that didn’t happen or I didn’t get, I have to agree with the Dalai Lama’s thought. In hindsight, I can see how silly and childish some of my wants were. There were some that were just mean and vindictive wants of a selfish person. Growing up was harder than it had to be because I was so focused on my wants, I see that now.
It is said that with age comes wisdom. I don’t know if wisdom is the word I would use to describe myself but I do have some smarts that have come with age. I can still be silly and, not childish, but childlike at times and I work at not being mean or vindictive. Of course, I still have wants but they are fewer and not all that important. I have what I need. Really more than I need.
When I get a want that’s just a wonderful happening of life!
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