Every year I have a word of the year. Sometime in November or December I start thinking about what my word will be and by January 1 I know what it will be. There have been years I didn’t like the word but it is always a word I need to know and think about. Eventually, it becomes clear to me why the word was chosen for me. It’s like magic.
This year the word is Today
I need to be reminded of this. Lately, I have been spending a lot of time in the past. Not just remembering stuff but letting some of it bother me. Though there is much of it I would like to erase from memory there is more I am happy to remember.
Besides the past, I have been thinking a lot about the future. It is okay, even wise to consider the future and make some decisions and plans for it but not to be consumed with what might happen and all the what-ifs that come with overthinking the future.
I think this has to do with being old. When one is young there is little past to think about and the future seems too far away to give it too much thought and life is busy. That changes. In time the past becomes long, the future short, and there is more time to ponder. I must remember; I have been given today and that is enough.
Today is the most important day of my life.
I am not so old that I don’t know what day it is.
I know it is Thursday and this is Wednesday’s post. I had computer issues. So, here it is the future and I am posting the past today.
She sat with her back to the group of women having lunch and gossiping in the booth behind her. She listened to their self-righteous mean conversation slowly coming to the realization that they were talking about her! It hurt to hear what they were saying but mostly it made her angry. So very angry. They didn’t really know her or about the things they were so arrogantly discussing. She wanted to stand at their booth and tell them in no uncertain words what she thought of them and their stupid gossip about her.
Instead, she simply got up and walked out smiling as she passed them. There was satisfaction in seeing their shocked faces when they saw her. Let them think what they wanted. After all, some of what they said was true, not all but enough to make her sad that she was once that foolish young woman.
As they say, with age comes wisdom and she was no longer that unhappy girl making bad decisions and stupid mistakes. Now she stood tall with her head up walking confidently with the knowledge of where and who she was today. She had learned from the past and no longer lingered there. The here and now is where she lived looking forward to a good and successful future.
I never thought I would miss having the endless energy of youth, but I do.
Every 4th of July, I watch the fireworks and remember how much bigger and exciting they were when I was a kid.
If I knew when I was young what I know now, I would have worked harder and saved more money.
I have trouble understanding the need to be “connected” all the time.
This week I am celebrating that I have four days off.
You would think since I only work part-time that four days off wouldn’t mean much but it does. I have been working, supporting myself, and on my own for 51 years. That’s a lot of years! Extended time off even just four days makes me feel good. I think I will not have any problem adjusting to “real” retirement when it happens. And that just may be sooner than later.
If you have lived any time at all you have memories. There are good memories and not so good memories and bad memories and for some, really awful memories. I have some of all kinds.
The thing with remembering the past is you have to be careful what you remember and how you do the remembering. What I mean is, be selective. The good memories are wonderful to reflect on and to spend some time with them. They make the present sweeter and will help us through difficult times. But remembering the bad, or awful, can be dangerous. Spending too much time with bad, sad, painful, or just difficult past times is not wise. Even spending too much time in past good memories is not wise. We are here to live in the present not in the past.
Remember the past and learn from it but don’t hunker down in it and make it home. The past is only for visiting not living there. You have moved on to this day. Live today the best you can and make new memories to remember in the future.
Today, I choose to remember the past for what it is, the past, and live today. I am thankful I can remember the past and leave it there, in the past, and live today with all the life I have in me.