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Saturday, no fairytale here…

A Black Cat Book Review


Dear Cary by Dyan Cannon

Cary Grant saw Dyan Cannon on TV, liked what he saw and arranged to meet her.  She thought the meeting was about a possible role in one of his projects but it was purely personal for Cary.  Thus, the beginning of a romance and marriage destined to be anything but a fairytale.

Dyan and Cary had a whirlwind and world-wide romance. He did not want to get married and cautioned her about her desire to be married to him.  He was older than her father and had been married and divorced three times; and he admitted the failure of the marriages was his fault.  But the thought of having a family won him over; they married and had a daughter, Jennifer. 

Not long after Jennifer’s birth Cary’s need to control every aspect of their lives became compulsive and overbearing.  The fairytale life Dyan thought she would have with Cary Grant was not happily ever after.  Dyan filed for the divorce Cary wanted and plotted and shortly after she had a breakdown.

The journey back to reality and life without Cary was not an easy one.  It is evident from the book that she never stopped loving Cary–but Cary never really loved her.

There were, for me, surprises in the book.  The biggest being Cary’s use of LSD in his search for the ultimate peace and that he did not believe it was a dangerous drug but a chemical used to enhance understanding.  Also, not as surprising but maybe disappointing, is  that Cary Grant was not at all what he seemed.  Yes, he was a handsome, witty, charming Hollywood star but he was also manipulative, controlling, cruel, and shallow in his relationships.

Dyan was/is a beautiful, funny, intelligent, talented woman. I was surprised by her lack of confidence and willingness to give up thinking for herself, wanting the fairytale so badly that she would/could not see life’s realities, all for the love of Cary.

Dyan Cannon has written an interesting memoir and it is not a shocking exposé with all the details spelled out.  But it is a sad story.  The last chapter is a letter Dyan has written to Cary forgiving him all the bad and thanking him for all the good they had together– and obviously still loving him.


Thursday, laughing gratitude…

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Today is Thursday, December 9, 2010

I guess I am funny.  Not funny peculiar–at least I don’t think I am peculiar  maybe a little odd though–but funny ha-ha.  It seems that I make people laugh.  Not all people–but more laugh than don’t.  It is not that I set out to make someone laugh like a comedian or a clown.  It just happens.

I think I see things as funny–I mean most of life is pretty funny.  Even when I am in the pit of a pity party or  in the depths of  dark depression  I can see the silliness.  A lot of life is sad and painful but most of it  is absurd.  No point in taking today too seriously–tomorrow is going to come and shake it all up again and there you are back at square one.

I am not living in a fantasy world of my own.  I know there is a lot of nastiness in the world–a lot of badness.  It can get you down if you dwell there in the ugliness.  I think how you let the nastiness, badness, and ugliness affect your attitude about life determines your reality.  I think seeing humor in the midst of difficulties is the best way to get through, over, around, under, and past whatever it is in your way .

The bible says “a cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones”.  Laughter is good medicine.  So I say take your medicine–have a laugh–several even–every day.  You will feel better and so will everyone else.  Laughter is contagious but not fatal so spread it around.

I am thankful I have a sense of humor and a spirit of cheerfulness.  I am thankful I can help others take their medicine.